I just need to think about it...

The smell of the floor wet from the rain keeps reminding me that I still don't know what I want.
Why is so difficult to choose what path to take?
I mean, for God sake why it's so hard you say "Yeah! I'd definatly do this for the rest of my life" I wonder if I would ever say this phrase one day.
I already had had an idea but just like that it was gone! The felling that I'd be happy with this job wasn't there with me anymore...
Two months can make a big difference... Or I'm the real "I don't know" guy.
The time is coming and I don't have a clue what to do.
Is the time running out that makes this so difficult? You be pushed into something that you don't know. I wish I could stop the time. Have the power of decide what I really want. Bloody time. Why do we have to live all around time?


.......



This song by the great actor and singer Scarlett Johansson called I don't want to grow up is pretty much all I feel.




I don't want to grow up - Scarlett Johansson

When I'm lyin' in my bed at night
I don't wanna grow up
Nothin' ever seems
To turn out right
I don't wanna grow up
How do you move in a world of fog
That's always changing things
Makes me wish that I could be a dog
When I see the price that you pay
I don't wanna gow up
I don't ever wanna be that way
I don't wanna grow up

Seems like folks turn into things
That they'd never want
The only thing to live for is today
I'm gonna put a hole in my T.V. set
I don't wanna grow up
Open up the medicine chest
And I don't wanna gow up
I don't wanna have to shout it out
I don't wanna be filled with doubt
I don't wanna be a good boy scout
I don't wannt have to learn to count
I don't wanna have the biggest amount
I don't wanna grow up

Well, when I see my parents fight
I don't wanna gow up
They all go out and drinking all night
And I don't wanna grow up
I'd rather stay here in my room
Nothin' out there but sad and gloom
I don't wanna live in a big old tomb
On Grand Street

When I see the 5 o'clock news
I don't wanna grow up
Comb their hair and shine their shoes
I don't wanna grow up
Stay around in my old hometown
I don't wanna put no money down
I don't wanna get me a big old loan
Work them fingers to the bone
I don't wanna float a broom
Fall in love and get married then boom
How the hell did it get here so soon
I don't wanna grow up