Download Volume Three

Here's the third cd with my favorite songs, fell free to download it.

click here to download.

Princess Diaries

I started reading the Princess Diaries books a while ago and I'm lovin' it. It's completly different of the films that Disney made (actually I think they spoiled the film, specially the second one.)
If you want to read a great book here's my tip, The princess Diaries.

Download Volume Two

Here's the volume two of my favorite songs, this time happier ones. Click here to download it.

Download CD

I've made this cd with some songs that I like. Soon I'll make another one, fell free to download it.
Click here.


The tracks are:

01.Lovesong Of The Buzzard – Iron and Wine

02.Misread – Kings of Convenience

03.Acid Tongue – Jenny Lewis

04.Transatlanticism – Death Cab for Cutie

05.Baby's Romance – Chris Garneau

06.Flowers In December – Mazzy Star

07.Are you Lightning – Nada Surf

08.Quinto Andar - Tiê

09.Those Dancing Days Are Gone – Carla Bruni

10.My Own Face Inside The Trees – The Clientele

11.Simple Things – Paolo Nutini

12.Make It With You - Olivia

13.Lotta love – She & Him

14.Losing Keys – Jack Johnson

15.The Build-Up – Kings of Convenience

Dan in real life

Recently I watched this wonderful film , Dan in real life, a film that can touch you deep in side.
Dan (Steve Carell) it's father of three girls, he's wife died four years ago and he'd never dated again.
In this trip to his parent's house he meet Marie (Juliette Binoche) and fell in love with her. The only thing he didn't know was that she is dating his brother Mitch (Dane Cook).
If you want to know what happens, go watch it, it's a really nice film. Different of all the ones I've seen this past few months.

Cirque du Freak

I'm so crazy to see this film, I read the book and I loved it! Plus: Josh Hutcherson it's on it!

Check out the trailer:



If you wanna know more about the film click here.



Wanna read the book? Download it here.

I'm tired

I'm tired of everything;
nothing seems to care to me anymore,
I just wanna lie down, close my eyes and sleep.
I can't cry, I have to be strong for you, and this is hurting so much, I fell helpless, worthless.
The silence is something we don't know anymore.
The word home, we seem to never known, everything we'd seen this far were a lie.
And when everything seems lost, and I wanna give up of everything, I see your face, now that is sad and the tears are coming down.

I'd never let you. For nothing and no one in this world.

From a distance the world looks blue and green,
and the snow-capped mountains white.
From a distance the ocean meets the stream,
and the eagle takes to flight.

From a distance, there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
It's the voice of hope, it's the voice of peace,
it's the voice of every man.

From a distance we all have enough,
and no one is in need.
And there are no guns, no bombs, and no disease,
no hungry mouths to feed.

From a distance we are instruments
marching in a common band.
Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace.
They're the songs of every man.
God is watching us. God is watching us.
God is watching us from a distance.

From a distance you look like my friend,
even though we are at war.
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
what all this fighting is for.

From a distance there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
And it's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves,
it's the heart of every man.

It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves.
This is the song of every man.
And God is watching us, God is watching us,
God is watching us from a distance.
Oh, God is watching us, God is watching.
God is watching us from a distance.

Chapter Eleven – What came after part 1

The fear that my mom had in her eyes through the last day were gone. Now she was a new woman. Had the power to start all over again.

When I walked in the kitchen with Josh, we were surprised to see the things she’d cooked. She made pancakes, bread, chocolate cake, and strawberry juice. My favorite.

When she saw us, her face illuminated. She opened her arms and gave us a worm hug.

“Good morning my angels!” She said and looked to our face. Then she continued. “I hope you had a nice night. I did! And is so good to have you two here!”

“Thanks Ab.” Josh said with his crooked smile. “I had a wonderful night indeed. The sound of the trees is wonderful to relax.”

“Oh! You’ll love here in the fall then! Is so cozy, promise you’ll come!” She said and then looked at me. “Dan. I want you two here in the fall.”

“Of course mom!” I said giving her a kiss.

I was happy. She was happy. She was the woman I used to know. And I couldn’t be more happier. I had Josh there with me too.

We had a long breakfast and talked all the time. Sadly Josh had to leave that morning as he’d to talk to his father. As he left some stuffs in the lighthouse I went there with him to grab them before he came back to the city.

“What you think your mom will do now?” Josh asked me.

“I don’t know. But she’s really happy. And this make me happy. And you don’t know how glad I am to have you here with me…”

“Me too. What time you’ll leave tomorrow?”

“In the morning. Why?

“Nothing…”

“All right…Too bad you won’t be here to met Sookie! She’s so nice!”

“I would love too, but I had to talk to my dad. And he’s really a jerk.”

“You have to tell me what you talk with your dad.” I said joking.

“It’s really boring love, but one day you’ll know.”

He kissed me and then hit the road back Stable City.

I looked his SUV cross the road, and I smiled. I’ve found the happiness.

The cold wind was there, taking my smile till him.

Was going to rain.

Later that day, the rain continued and the cold came as a bonus.

My mom replaced her house and already paint her bedroom walls. She was really happy. I had my dinner with Sookie, and had a wonderful night with her and her husband and son.

I came back to my house and told my mom that Sookie’d come to her house tomorrow to help her clean the rest of the house. At least I’d come back home knowing that my mom had a friend with her.

As was my last night there, my mom and I made a movie session with Titanic, one of the first movie we’d seen so late.

We ate MM’s and popcorn, with coke.

In the morning I had my breakfast and came home.

I promised her to visit her soon.

I was crazy to see Josh again. Fell his soft lips touching my. Stay in the bed with him, just talking.

But first I had an entire day with Kiki and Richard.

I thought that the first thing that Kiki’d do was scream and say “Where the hell have you been?” But she just said a nice and lifeless “Hi Dan.”

I answered with a big smile and said “Hey Kiki!” And she just gave a forced smile to me.

Later I’d have to cheer her up.

Richard decided to make a big sale in the store, and that took me all day to change the prices and print the new sale offers.

During the day I only saw Kiki once, and she was talking with Patricia. Josh called me in my launch time and told me that he had had a nice day with his dad, and said to meet him in the City of Fruits.

Twenty minutes before the store close, I went to Kiki’s desk. She was in the phone, and looked surprised to see me there.

“Hey.” I said to her.

“Hey.” She said after she hang the phone.

“So, I haven’t seen you today, how’s your weekend?” I asked sitting in the desk.

“Sorry. I wasn’t in the mood,” She took a little break and then continued “You know. We sometimes have really terrible days, and mine end up being this last weekend.” She said crying.

God, she looked really terrible. Something really horrible must have happened.

“What happened Kiki?”

“Remember that guy I told you about? That I met?”

“Yeah.”

“So, he… he’d stolen my things.”

“What?”

“Yeah, he just hit my head last night, and then when I woke up my TV was gone, and my purse, and my shoes.” She said crying.

“Have you called the police?”

“Yeah, and he’s been doing this for two years, and they never catch him.”

“I can’t believe, are you ok? I mean, if he hit your head, you must go to the hospital.”

“Don’t worry Dan, I’m ok. And what can I do? I have to continue living my life as normal as possible. I mean, he just stole idiot things, I can by a new TV, and shoes, and my purse, well, what can I say. I called the bank and blocked my cards.”

I must say that she looked really confident. But I didn’t get why she avoid me the all day.

I gave her a hug and said “If you need anything just ask me.”

“Thanks.” She said.

“Poor Kiki.” Josh said.

“Yeah. I’m felling terrible. I like Kiki, but this last days, I haven’t been nice to her, I was just thinking of me.”

“You can’t blame yourself. You didn’t said : Here Kiki, date this guy. She hang up with him by herself.”

“I know. But I feel sad.”

“Hey! I don’t want you like this, and plus, you’ll scare the costumers.” He said laughing.

“Funny, but tell me more about your dad, what you guys did?”

“Well, I came home and talked to him, about his behavior, not accepting me. And told about the cheating on mom, and her on him. And he was really nice, said that he always loved me and he was angry with other things and he put everything on me. And about my mom, he’d said that they’re trying to be together, but he is not easy. And guess what?”

“What?”

“I told about you to him.”

“You did?”

“Yes! And he said that he wants to know you!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! He told me to ask you to have diner with us tomorrow. You’ll go, won’t you?”

“Of course!”

“I still can’t believe that I was talking to my dad.” Josh said to me.

“I’m glad, everything is in the right place now.”

“Yeah, and talking about place, we could rent a film, what you think?”

“Hum, It’s sounds perfect, can I choose the film?”

“Of course Dan!”

“So, I’ve to go to an store and I’ll be right back, ok?”

“Ok.”

I left the dinner and hit the Happy place for Lonely Girls, this old store opened to make girls happy after something that made them sad. I really didn’t believe in the story but Kiki was really sad, and I thought that wouldn’t hurt.

To enter in the store there’s this guy, a hot one, in the front, like a host, and he says: “Hello, welcome to Happy Place for Lonely Girls, here our sorrow, it’s your best friend and the shopping the bonus, have a pleasure time! “

I got inside the store thinking of the guy, he must hate his job.

After ten minutes I found the perfect gift for Kiki, a huge Eeyore.

I stop by the video shop in the mall, picked Under the tuscan sun and headed back to City of fruits.

I stood there with Josh till he closed the place and then we went to my house.

I woke up with Josh kissing my ears, and mumbling “Good Morning my love”

I think I’d never get tired of wake up with him in my bed, in the morning he looks more hot then he does, his eyes get so blue in the morning that is impossible not smile, and his crooked smile, God that make me want kiss him forever. His hair was like I liked, ruffled.

“Good morning my angel” I said giving him a kiss.

“Good morning my love, I thought you’d sleep all day” He said getting up.

He wore his pants and his shirt, went to the kitchen and then came back with orange juice and donuts.

“So, what time you want to me pick you up?” He asked.

“Hum.. I don’t know, after eight.” I said eating the donut. “I’ll take Kiki to that place for a milk-shake, I’ll not get late, just to give her the Eeyore.”

“Ok, Don’t worry. I’ll wait for you in the lobby. And I’m really jealousy that you’re giving her a present and nothing to me.” He said with his beautiful crooked smile.

“Poor kid, don’t worry, you’ll have a surprise soon.” I said and kissed this forehead. “And you’ll not be waiting in the lobby. It’s time for you have the apartment keys.”

“Really? I mean, this is a huge step. And you know most of people don’t like this, and…”

“Shut! You’re the one, you’re the person I’ll die with. And after all it’s only keys.”

“I love you know?”

“Hum.. I don’t know.. I think, but you could make something to show your love to me.” I said smiling.

“Let me see, I think I know something.” He said with his crooked smile, and then hugged me.

©Leonardo Martins

Something's missing deep down inside

Something's missing deep down inside, and I don't know what it is.
But it's making me so blue, and also you my angel.
Our smile that once were full of life now it's only a fake one.
Our shine that once were like the sun, now it's fading daily.
God, what is wrong with us, what is wrong with us...
Only the sound of the old songs are in the air while we look up the stars.


©Leonardo Martins

Glee

After Mamma Mia! I thought would be difficult find something that would make me fell more happy and sing-a-long. And yesterday I had this wonderful surprise after I watched the pilot of Glee.
This new series from FOX, it's full of joy, life and has something that this last few years almost no one seems to believe, in the happines.
The show only begins 16/07 but you meanwhile you can watch the pilot and listen to the songs.

Check out this great song





If you want to download this song click here.

Chapter Ten – The Goodbye Night

My rest of the morning was fulfill with my mom and the beach.

We walked in the places we used to make our meals or sit to watch the waves crash and read books. And then we stop by in the famous restaurant Sea Hills beach house.

There my mom told me all about her relationship with Carl. That she was tired of him, but he was really aggressive, and had hurt her so much in this past months.

I told her that I was going to talk to him and help her, and she started crying and said to me to don’t do this. She was scary of what he’d do.

“He is a strange man, son. He can lose his mind so quick.”

When I heard those words I could barely stand sit. That man was a monster. My mom wasn’t a bad person and didn’t had to be with him, for God sake she wasn’t even married with him.

I told her that tonight I’d have a talk with Carl. And she didn’t had to worry about nothing as Josh would be there too.

Josh found our home quicker then I thought, and he came really earlier. I introduce him to my mom and they started talking about me, really weird, though was nice see that she was laughing with Josh.

When Carl got home, was already almost 19:30. The food was placed in the table and the smell of home was in the air. He looked really surprised to see another man in the house, but didn’t asked a thing.

“So, Carl, this is Josh, Dan’s boyfriend.” She said to Carl.

His eyes pop-out so fast that looked like in those cartoons. Absolutely he just find out about me.

“Boyfriend?” He asked to my mom.

“Yeah. You didn’t understand?”

“No. I just heard perfectly.” He said eating his fat pork ribs.

The dinner was quiet after that. Just the sound of forks in the plate in the air.

After everybody finished, I walked into the kitchen to grab the pudim. Soon I was surprised with Carl.

“Look boy, I don’t want to say this one more time, just grab your dirt things and get out of my house, and take with you your dirt friend. I don’t want people like you here.” He said so faster and so angry that was difficult to understand. But I got the message. I wasn’t welcome in my mom’s house.

I just turned my head down, and started talking.

“Look, old man. – I said pausing. – For your information, this is my mom’s house. Not yours. And I won’t go away, like you said.

You’ve been treating my mom like shit and I known that. She was afraid what you’d do with her, if she left you. You can believe how scared she is? And now you want me to go away? So you can hurt her again? I won’t let you do this. Is better you go to your old place, and left us her.” I finished, with tears in my eyes.

He turned his head and left the kitchen. When I got in the dinner table, Josh was hugging my mom. She was crying. Looks like they’ve heard my talk with Carl.

And then I saw Carl packing his clothes.

The silence was quiet then ever, you could only hear the sound of Carl’s movement in the bedroom.

After ten minutes he yelled “Goodbye Ab, I hope you find your happiness”

Neither my mom nor I saw him again.

The rest of the night was weird. We just sat in the sofa and looked each other’s face. The sadness was gone. And the wonder of the new was there now.

©Leonardo Martins

Dream

I dream every day with a place that I know that I lived in.
I just don't know where it is, or how to get there.
Trought the songs playin' on my radio, I just think, and rethink... I spend hours like this.
The present isn't as I wanted to be, and then I think again and again. I'm almost there and then that fellin' it's gone.
Sometimes I fell sad, sometimes happy. Sometimes I just don't know why I fell the way I fell, but deep in side I know, I've always known, I need to make this little move to get close to what I fell. I need to get out of this thing that I call life. I need to be brave, and then I came back to the begining fellin' blue. I take a deep breath and smile, just a smile to make me fell good. And then I wait, and wait for the new day to come, till I got the corage to make THE move.

I left this song here so you guys can have a great day.

Bread - Make it with you

Hey have you ever tried,
Really reaching out for the other side?
I may be climbing on rainbows
But, baby here goes.

Dreams they're for those who sleep,
Life is for us to keep,
And if you're wond'ring
What this song is leading to

I want to make it with you
I really think that we can make it girl.

No, you don't know me well,
In ev'ry little thing only time will tell,
If you believe the things that I do.
And we'll see it through.

Life can be short or long,
Love can be right or wrong,
And if I choose the one
I'd like to help me through,
I'd like to make it with you
I really think that we can make it girl.

Baby you know that
Dreams they're for those who sleep,
Life is for us to keep
And if I choose the one
I'd like to help me through,
I'd like to make it with you
I really think that we can make it girl.

Harry Potter and the half-blood prince

Yesterday I went to the premier of Harry Potter and the half-blood prince, the sixth film of the series.
When I got into the cinema, I felt really really happy, as I talked to old friends that I met in the others films, met new ones that are really nice and that will be in touch forever, and saw beautiful people too, really beautiful. :D
I wore my t-shirt of Harry Potter and my blouse too. There were almost one hundred people, everyone crazy to see the newest film.
And of course, that after it started, everyone screamed.
The film, is the best one so far, everyone is more mature now, and the plot is really great, even with lots of things left behind, the film still good as if those things that only who read the book knows, don't really matter in this adaptation.
The end of the film is really great, like the book, you see the true friendship of Harry, Hermione and Rony.
I can' wait to see the last 2 films and have this precious time with this wonderful people.
After all, no other film can gather so many people, happy people, to stay wake all the night to play, do cosplay, and enjoy the life.

My Angel

She's the one that makes me laugh

the one that can put a light on my darkest day
the one that I run wildly to
the one I try to always take care
the one that made me who I am right now
the one that brought me to this world
the one I'm thankful for everything
You're my angel mom, and as you protected me in the darkest time, I will protect you.

Prime

Sometimes in the afternoon I get a little nostalgic, and the films are the ones that cause this felling. Today Prime was the one. This romantic comedy, sometimes more romantic and others more comedy, it's a really nice film, that can make of your boring afternoon a lovely one.
The story is about Rafi a 37 years old divorced woman, that meet this guy, Dan. They meet each other accidently and after that they start to hang out, after she finds out that Dan is 23 years old, she kind don't take the thing more serious, but she decide to give it a change. The only thing oddly into this relationship is that her therapist is the mom of Dan.
A really sweet film that shows that the happines don't have age.
And the end of the film it's really interesting. If you want to see a nice romance, don't hesitate.

The moron society

We are surrounded for thousand of people and everyday we heard thousand of news of massive murders and that the world it's goin' to end, etc.
Recently this thing happened with me, a close person in my family answered the phone and suddenly I heard screams coming from the living room, I came there to know what was going on and for my surprise he was discussing with the guy that accidently pressed the wrong number and dialled my home. After he hang up this friend, crazy as hell, picked the phone of the ID, and said that he'll go to the police station and pass the number as it could be someone from the jail. "Haven't you seen what says in the news? Lots of people are murder with wrong calls!"
I got so mad with him of what he was coming up with, for god sake, I said to him "Haven't you never dialled a wrong number and accidently called to another number?, So I guess this make you a
murder, am I right?"
The only thing that he said was this :"I'm not that kind of person."

After that I start to think, the population it's goin' mad, but themselves created this situation, and the most incredible thing is the power they've given to themselves to think they as the saint, the pure one, that never made anything wrong.
I never thought that my friend'd make this kind of scene because someone dialled the wrong phone.
And I finish this post with John Lennon's song, Imagine.

Imagine there's no heave
It's easy if you try

No hell below us
Above us only sky

Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too

Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say,
I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day
You'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say,
I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day
You'll join us
And the world will be as one

Welcome the NEW

I took a different point of view at my life after some weeks, I became a different person. My soul it's more strong, and the way I looked at my life changed. I ain't that old me anymore. That person is gone and now I had this new phase of my life and I'm with open arms to it.



I left this song by Tina Turner - Open Arms that it's really great.




Ask me no questions
I'll tell you no lies
Come to me when you're down
I'll give you friendly advice
I'll be your avenue, your trusting ear
Release your deepest secrets
I'll be sincere

It's an age old situation
There's nothing to fear
Whatever life throws at you
Your friend is here
Right by your side

When love leaves you cold
Lies have been told
I will be there with my open arms
Hurting inside
Please don't hide the pain
I will be there with my open arms

Open arms, open arms, open arms

I know what you're saying
I been there myself
Promises withstand
They left me for someone else
Then the tables turn
A lesson I had to learn
I can't point my fingers cuz
Girls, my fingers have been burned

It's an age old situation
The message is clear
Whatever life throws at you
Your friend is here
Right by your side

When love leaves you cold
Lies have been told
I will be there with my open arms
Hurting inside
Please don't hide the pain
I will be there with my open arms

It's an age old situation
The message is clear
Whatever life throws at you
Your friend is here
Right by your side

When love leaves you cold
Lies have been told
I will be there with my open arms
Hurting inside
Please don't hide the pain
I will be there with my open arms

When love leaves you cold
Lies have been told
I will be there with my open arms
Hurting inside
Please don't hide the pain
I will be there with my open arms

What do I need.?.

I need something. And I don't know what it is. Something inside me, is missing, and I need to find it!

Chapter Nine - Home sweet Home

The good thing about weekends is that you have two days to you. You can rest. Travel, stay home, or just came back to your home sweet home.
Why I was driving the way home I felt really strange. Every place I drive by I had been there. I had had so many adventures in that city. Sea Tiger was a small city. Had this beautiful lake in the entrance, and almost in the end of the city you catch the road to beach curve, almost ten minutes from Sea Tiger. I lived there 14 years. And I haven’t been there almost two year. After my mom started dating Carl I haven’t been there lately, not that I don’t like the guy, but my mom had a stressful time with my father. And now that she’d find peace I’m letting her have it alone. But I miss her a lot.
Today was really great. The sun came out and wasn’t so cold. I stopped on Jessie’s pancakes. The best pancakes I’ve ever eat. Seriously I’ve never eat something like those. They must have a secret ingredient.
I bought the best ones. Pancakes with strawberry and chocolate.

About five minutes later I got home. The house looked the same. The green paint in the entrance was just a little old, but the white fence around the house still as usually, shining.
I parked the car, and rang the doorbell.

“Son!” My mom said happy – “I miss you! My Gosh look at you! You’ve grown more!”
“I miss you too mom!” I said and gave her a hug – “Do you think? I believe I got fat…” I said laughing.
“Don’t be silly! Came in son.” She said going inside. The house has changed a little bit, first that had lots of Carl’s photos with mom around the house, and their new cat, Mia. Adorable cat.
The kitchen is the only room that stills the same. My mom walked into my room. And I had a big surprise when I saw it. – “I left it just like you did. So when you came in again you’d have it just like you left it.” She said with tears in her eyes.
“Thanks mom!” I said crying. I gave her a big hug.

After I unpacked my things, my mom and I went to the kitchen to make dinner. Carl’d be home in one hour. And is their routine have dinner at the same time.
My mom told me that Carl gave her a wedding gift. A trip to Paris. Two weeks. She was really happy with it.
I was happy for her too. Finally she found her soul mate.
“But and you son, tell me about you. How’s things there in the store?”
“It’s really great mom! Richard told me that he’ll make me vice-president of the store soon. I can’t wait to see this day.”
“Congratulations son! I’m so proud!”
“Thanks mom!” I said. “Mom, I have to tell you something…”
“What it is honey?”
“I’m dating.”
“Really? That’s wonderful honey!” She said hugging me.
“Thanks mom…,” – I said smiling. I was trying to find a way to tell her that I was gay, but I couldn’t came up with something nice. – “He’s name is Josh.” I finally said after a minute hugging my mom.
“You know honey, I’ve always knew about you, and I love you. And I’m happy that you had found someone. I hope he’s a nice guy.” She said to me, kissing my cheek.
I wasn’t surprised. As I thought, she always knew. But was really nice know that she is happy for me.
I told her all about Josh, and how we met. I told about Joe and his restaurant in the beach. She really loved the idea of meeting him. And after a while Carl got home.
Carl hasn’t change much since my last visit. He still using his dark hair, and he’s green eyes were the same – as if they could change, - the only thing is that his get a little weight.
“Ab, I’m home!” He said loudly after he opened the door.
“Here in the kitchen Carl!” She also said loudly. Maybe they had this thing of scream trough the house, if that was true, was a really weird hobby.
“Dan, my boy!” He said after he saw me – “You’ve grown Youngman!” Again loudly.
I laugh. The next one that says this I would scream. I haven’t grown. Isn’t this obvious?
“You must be forgetting things Carl!” I said laughing to him. “I haven’t grown. I have the same size…”
“Maybe you’re wrong.” He still with the talking.
“Yeah.. MayBE.”

The dinner wasn’t nice; Carl decided to talk about the things that have changed in me. “He now is with this beard, and didn’t had this accent.” He and my mom talked about his topics and when it was finished he started a new one. “And your eyes. You didn’t had those tired eyes boy. You’ve been work till late?” And then I had to explain thousand times. No… no… and NO.
Maybe was me but Carl was a pain in the ass now. Gladly the dinner didn’t last long. As many idiot hobbies Carl had to sleep before eleven. And this include had his bath before ten. I don’t know how mom still living with this idiot.
I left the two talking about me and went to my room. I finished unpacking my things. Grab the phone and dilled Josh’s.
The maid answered the phone and then passed the phone to him.
“Good night my love.” I said to him.
“Good night to you too.” He said with his normal voice. I thought it was a good sign.
“How are you?.” I asked.
“Not ok… I don’t have you here.” He said laughing. I could imagine the crooked smile on his face.
“Don’t worry I will get home soon.” I said laughing. “Now really. Is everything ok?”
“Yeah. I had a little problem yesterday, sorry about the phone thing, I hate when someone hangs up suddenly.”
“Don’t worry, but now is everything ok?”
“Yeah. Was my father as usual…. But tell me. How’s things back home?”
“Strangely… I hate my mom’s boyfriend.”
He laughed so much and then said – “This is natural… Fell angry about that.”
“No. Really Josh. He wasn’t so idiot… His like a retarded. He has his life based on time. He has to sleep before eleven, and eat before seven, and…”
“Stop. Before you have a heart attack.” He said. “Relax. Have a nice night. And you’ll see that tomorrow will be a really nice day.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I really miss you Dan.” He said seriously.
“I miss you too Josh.”
“Love you.” He said.
“Love you.” I said and then he hang up.


In the morning after boring Carl left to work my mom and I had our breakfast without looking at the clock and I talked to her about Carl’s behavior. She said that he has changed a little bit about a year ago. But that she still loves him.
Even that she hates this strange obsession with the hours.
I told her that I really think this a stupid thing, and that she’d to tell him about this. “Is not heath mom.” I said to her.
She promised to me to talk with him.
My cell phone rang, was Josh.
“Hello Josh.”
“Hello Dan, Good morning!”
“Good morning!”
“Can you make a favor to me?”
“Yeah.”
“Go to the lighthouse and grab a black bag in the sofa upstairs?”
“Yeah, but and what about the key?”
“Have a key under the carpet.”
“Ok. I’ll go there.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too.”

I said to my mom that I’d go to the lighthouse and then we could go to the beach.

I really don’t remember of any bag left in the sofa. I thought.
At least this little escape from my mom’s house was making me good.
See the streets again of Sea Hills was really nice, and I could see the old stores I used to go.
The old video shop, Allen’s, still there. “That bag can wait a little.” I said after I saw Sookie, my old friend. She was in the video shop. I parked the car and walked in.
She hasn’t change much. She still had her short dark hair. Her Japanese eyes still shining, and her big smile, that smile could make you rise up from the ground in a blink of eyes.
“Hello stranger!.” I said to her. She turned her head and then realized who said that. – “I can’t believe! Dan!” She said giving me a hug.
“What are you doing here?”
“You want the truth or just an idiot answer?” I said laughing.
“The truth”
“I’m a fugitive. I escaped from the aliens.”
“Right… Now the idiot answer…”
“I’m visiting my mom.”
“I’ve seen her last week. She looks tired, doesn’t she?”
“Kinda of.”
“I guess you don’t know about me, do you?” She asked.
“What?”
“Wait here…” She said enter into the child session.
Then she came back with a little boy in her arms. “Dan, this is Bob. My son.”
“I can believe Sookie! God. He’s beautiful!” The little Bob must have three years old. Had a long hair and her eyes. Also her beautiful smile.

We talked a little more. And she invited me to visit her house the next night. I said yes.
Today I’d have a normal meal.

I drove to the lighthouse, it was almost ten. The weather changed and got cold. I get there very soon. I parked the car in the same place Josh did the last time.
As he said, there was a key under the carpet. I walked in the house. Oddly was really cozy there.
I got upstairs and had this wonderful surprise. Josh was standing in the bed.
When he saw me, he gave me his beautiful crooked smile. “Why you took so long my love?.” He asked me with a British accent.
“My fault.” I said jumping into his arms. – “I met my old friend, and we started talking. Can you believe she has a child?.” I said kissing him.
“Really?” He said kissing me back. His warm breath was getting me hypnotized.
“Hum…” I said. And continued kissing him. We stood there for a long time.
He looked more incredible handsome as usually. His eyes were so blue and his smile was inviting me to his mouth. His perfume was making me going crazy.
“I wish we could live here forever.” I said looking into his eyes.
“Me too.” He said kissing my hair.
We lay down looking to the roof.
“What you’re gonna do tonight?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I think I’ll go home. Why?”
“Do you wanna come to my mom’s house? It’s really boring there now with her boyfriend.”
“You didn’t said he was a nice guy?”
“He was.” I took a deep breath. – “Now he’s a jerk.”
“What he did?”
“A lot of idiot things. I said to my mom what I think about him and she said she really love him. The strange is that when I talked to Sookie, she said that my mom looks really sad.”
“Strange.” He said.
“A lot.”
“I’ll go then” He said looking at me.
“Really?”
“Yeap!”
“Thanks!” I kiss him.

I stood there a little more and then I came back home. I had to go to the beach with mom.

©Leonardo Martins

Chapter Eight - Going back to the world part 2

“Good Morning Dan!” Kirsten said to me with her usually morning smile.
“Hey Kiki. Good.” I said. “How are you?” I asked kindly.
“Good… actually perfect! I just met someone and I tell you,…”She said happy. “He’s so damn hot! And nice, and well I think we can put a date to our couple date.” She said smiling.
“Nice…” I said smiling. Now she will talk about this date the hole day.
“Ah!” She said. “Before I forget, Pete called. He wants to talk to you. I said you’d call him.”
“Thanks Kiki.”

The weather today was strange. The sky was dark gray, and was raining. Really cold. In the office everyone was with blouses, and the smell of coffee in the air was making me hungry.
I made some stuffs I had to do and then I called Peter.
“Hey Dan!” Peter said.
“Hey Pete! How are you?”
“Fine, and you?”
“Fine too.”
“You’ve been kidnapped or something?” He said laughing.
“No why?” I said.
“You never call.. never showed up here… Is everything ok?” He asked.
“Of course it is. And you also didn’t call or show up ..”
“Yeah… My fault. But what have you done lately?” He asked.
“Not much, but I met someone.”
“Really?” He said loudly. I bet if there was someone close to me would hear it.
“Yeah, why the surprise Pete?”
“Nothing. I need to know this woman…. I mean you never talk about your dates..”
I just laugh. I wasn’t in the mood to tell him about Josh, and especially about me.
“So I called you so we could make something this weekend.”
“Sorry Pete… my mom called inviting me to her house and I can’t say no.”
“Hum. Ok, but Monday then?” He asked.
“I don’t know, I call you, ok?” I said.
“Ok…”
“And Ashley? Are you guys still together?” I asked.
“Yeah man, she’s wonderful! You need to meet her. She’s so funny!”
“Yeah. I bet she is.”
“I know!. We could hang out together, I mean… Ashley and I, and you and… sorry I didn’t ask her name, what’s her name Dan?”
“Her name…?”
“Yeah…”
“I won’t tell her name…” I said trying to laugh, but it didn’t work out very well.
“Come on man! It’s not funny!” He said.
“Is better this way, and first I want you to met hi.. the person alone.”
“All… right.. well I have to go Dan. But was good to talk to you! And I’m so happy for you man!”
“Thanks Pete. I’m happy too, and I’m happy for Ashley too. We talk Monday!”
“Yeah!”

This was the first time that I lied to Pete. We’ve been friends since ever and I never had to lie to him. I needed to tell him, but I really wasn’t in the mood. I needed coffee.

I was in the kitchen making my coffee, it looks like I wasn’t the only one with hungry here, and then Richard walked in.

“Hey Dan!” He said.
“Hey Richard. How are you?”
“I’m fine and you my boy?”
“Fine too…”
“Crazy isn’t? The weather?” He asked with his forced smile.
“Yeah… Not much. Yesterday I was in the beach and was pretty much like today…”
“You went to the beach?” He asked curious. “Then you don’t know why you get ill.” He said nodding his head.
“Don’t worry… I didn’t were in the beach… I was in this restaurant in the beach.”
“Well. Still a beach.” He said angry.

I don’t know why but Richard always had this parental thing with me. He is always trying to make sure I don’t get hurt. Is strange.

“Don’t worry Richard… seriously.” My coffee was ready and so I left the room.


My office now had the scent of coffee, and that was really cozy. Strangely Kiki didn’t visit me once, and I had the all noon free to work without being interrupted, though Richard came to see if I haven’t died two times.

Was 17:30 and I turned my pc off. Cleaned my office and went to Kiki’s table. She wasn’t there. I asked about her to Patricia, the cleaning lady that she used to talk, and she said Kiki left earlier because she had a date. Probably was the guy she talked in the morning. I thought.

As Kiki wasn’t there I went home. In the way I stopped in the market and bought red bulls and some cokes.
I came home earlier then I thought. The traffic wasn’t terrible as usually.
I put the red bulls and the cokes in the fridge, and went to the bathroom to take a shower.
I didn’t took so long, as I was crazy to call Josh. I put my pjs and grab the phone.

He took a while to answer the phone.

“Good night love.” I said.
“Good night love.” He answered.
“Is this a bad time?” I asked.
“No.”
“So how was your day?”
“Boring… I had this couple here in the diner that pissed me off. They took ten minutes to choose a juice. And then another ten to the next juice. I was going crazy.”
I laugh about it. It looked pretty much boring.
“Sorry to hear this. My day was strangely normal.”
“How you mean strangely normal?” He asked curious.
“I don’t know… Kiki was so strange. After I said yesterday to her that I had a date she started acting strangely. And this morning she said she had met this hot guy. And then she left early, something that she never does.”
“Maybe she’s angry with you, and is trying to make you fell bad. Don’t worry.”
“Yeah…And about tomorrow. You came out with something?”
“Nope. And you?”
“Me too. I’ll call my mom next. And if you go after this thing?” I asked hopeful.
“I haven’t thought about it. But I don’t know. You really want me to go?”
“Yes…. No…. I mean you can go if you want, don’t need to go because me. I would be very happy. But if you had another plans don’t cancel them because of me.”
“I’ll see what I do. I promise. I have to go Dan. Sorry, love you.”
“I love you too.” But he had hang up before I said those words.
Did I do something that he didn’t like? Or he was having troubles, or he was just tired?

I called my mom and she got very happy with the news of me going there. “I thought you wouldn’t come.” She said to me.
I drank one red bull and went to bed। Tomorrow I'd have to get up earlier.

©Leonardo Martins

Start

I was there.. right? I mean, this is my home. But I don't fell like my.
He is there, like always. Watchin' tv, with his idiot face, sometimes I just want to make his disapper, I have to control myself.
I hate this situation.

I need to live.

I need to feel alive.

I need start.

Barking at the Moon by Jenny Lewis

I love this song!

Chapter Eight - Going back to the world

I woke up with Josh beside me. We must have fallen asleep after the film.
He was looking at me with his crooked smile, his eyes were shining as the sun was all around the room telling us that the day has arrived.
"Good morning, silly boy." Josh said softly.
"Good morning, little Josh." I said smiling.
"You sleep like a stone Dan..." He said laughing.
"Sorry.."I said.
"Don't be. I like watching you sleep." He said.
We stayed sometime just looking to each other. It felt great wake up with him.

"Now we have to you, you have to go to your job and I have to go back home, and grab my clothes and go to the mall." Josh said putting his jeans.
"I wish we could stay here forever." I said getting up the bed.
"Don't wish this. We have plenty places to visit." He said with his crooked smile.
"Yeah. Talking about that, would you go with me tomorrow to the beach?."
"I hope I can go. I have this family thing in the morning, you could go with me, what you think?." He asked.
"I promissed my mom... And plus I was thinking to go in the morning." I said.

Great! I thought. We wouldn't see each other tomorrow.

"Let's see what we can do, we have the all day to figure out something." Josh said.
"Yeah." I said.

We had our breakfast in the cafe of the corner. And then Josh left to his house and I went to work.

©Leonardo Martins

Chapter Seven - At last... him part 6

"I love you too my love." I said kissing him.
"So, I think you wanna know about Joe.?" Josh asked me.
"If you wanna tell me. I would be glad." I answer.
"Well. I lied a little bit to you... My mom and dad aren't the happiest couple. And that diner isn't like I said to you. I mean, it's true the way my parents met and married. And about the diner too. But my father and I haven't speak a long time. After he find out about me he said I wasn't more his son. My mom suddenly started having a affair with a friend of the family and my father with a secretary. Is like everyone went wild. Joe here, was one of the babysitters that I told you. He almost raised me. He came to our house when I was 5 and since then we became best friends.
He was the first to know about me. I like to call him my father.
Joe came from Brazil and is a chef. His dream has been have a restaurant close to the sea. So I started working to my father, and then after a year I gave this restaurant to him. This isn't much as he gave me so much and this restaurant is nothing compared with all the things he has done to me. "
"Wow." I said to him. After I listen to every word of his true story."I'm really glad you told me the true. I'm really am. You trused me. And I'm sorry about your father and your mother. And Joe seems to be a really nice guy. And no
w I can understand the brazillian song playing here." I said and took a deep breath. "And why he named the restaurant Wings of Tomorrow?" I asked curious.
"I thought you may ask this." Josh said laughing. "We talked a lot of what we would do after we had our freedom. And as we talked a lot of the future he decided to named the restaurant Wings of Tomorrow, as now, "We're gonna live only the present little Josh" Joe said to me the day he opened the restaurant." He said looking to me with his beatiful blue eyes.

"Here's the food" Joe said loudly.
He was bringing a beatiful dish with moqueca de camarão. A wonderful brazillian dish.

The food was great. And I had a wonderful time there. Joe told me some storys about Josh and him. I really loved it. He told me that every month there's a special day in the restaurant where the brazilians living here came to spent some time there. It's called A brasilian day in the sea.
He makes lots of brazilian food and has this band playing mpb. It's seems nice. We were invited to this month.
We stayed there about two hours and then we went home, as started getting really cold and as Joe said earlier, the wind was pretty bad.


"I really loved here Josh" I said to him really happy. We were almost close to the exit of the beach.
"I'm glad you did. Dan." He said with his perfect crooked smile. "So. What we're gonna do now?"
"I was thinking to rent a movie and go home, what you think?." I asked.
"It sounds great!." He said."What film?"
"I now the perfect one!" I said with my evil smile.
"Ok, mr. I know best."Josh said laughing. "Don't forget that I'm the one with the surprises." He continued laughing.
"Don't worry.. I would never do such thing." I laugh too.

We stopped in the video shop and I went there by myself as I wanted to make a surprise.
Then we stopped in the McDonnalds and bought some things.



"So what is about this film?." Josh asked why I was putting the dvd on the dvd player.
"About today." I said.
"Today?." He said confused.
"Hey. Soon you'll see."
I lied in the bed with him. I turned the lights off and pressed play.
Soon Woman on Top started.


Was really nice see this film once again, specially now that I pratically have met someone with almost the same story in the film. Josh really loved the film. And said that he had never seen this film or heard about it.
We spent the rest of the day there, eating, chatting, and watching tv.
And that felling I had in the morning, was gone.

©Leonardo Martins

Chapter Seven - At last... him part 5

He kissed me so much that took my breath away. We stood there, with the car parked in the middle of the 5th avenue, kissing. Were like those moments in those romantic films where everything stops. It's just you and the other person. In this case, Josh and I.

"Well I guess I'll have to change my plans.. We need to go to a better place, don't you think?" Josh asked with his crooked smile.
"That's up to you... I would be ok just stay here with you." I said kissing him.
"Well we can do this later. In your house... Let's go to this place close to the sea, has been a while since my last visit there, but I think still lovely as it usually." He said confidence.

This moment was playing Get Here by Brenda Russell. I could fell like in the song. I don't care how you get here. Just get here if you can. I need Josh like in the song. He was now officially part of my life.

It didn't took so long to we get in the sea. Before you enter there you pass trought this lots of trees and then drive a long path in the sand. After a five minutes you can see the sea and the little restaurants and lots of chairs and tables across the place.
The rain has stoped but was really cold. The wild was quite wild and there wasn't lots of people there. As the weather here is crazy some people don't mind to visit the beach with wind and rain. I'm part of this group of people.
The beach has this thing that I can't explain. Just that makes me very happy. See the waves crash, and feel the breeze. Is really something that makes me fell good.
And now I had Josh. That looks like is a beach lover like me.

He parked the car close to the end of the "street" of restaurants. Close to this tiny restaurant called Wings of Tomorrow, quite strange to name a restaurant with this kind of name.

"Hey little Josh! I can't believe you deciced to come visit us!." Said a old man, about 60 years, with white hair, darked skin, and very short.
"Hey Joe! Do you think I would forget you?." Josh said laughing.
"Of course not, little Josh. I was just joking!" Joe said. "You've grown little Josh. Now isn't funny call you little Josh." He said with a huge laugh.
"You can always call me little Josh Joe. Yeah... I've grown. Sorry. I haven't been around lately. It's my fault. But I think this problem is solved now." Josh said.
"And who's this lovely boy." Joe apointed to me.
"My God! Sorry Joe, this is Dan. My boyfriend." Josh said happy.
"Hi!" I said really shy.
"Hi!" He waved to me. "What's your name boy?."
"Daniel." I said. Coming closer to him.
"Well Daniel, I'm Joe, and just to you know, you're dating a wonderful boy. I known Josh since he was a little kid. And boy I got tell you. He is really great! I'm really happy for him that he finally found someone." He said with tears in his eyes.
I was confuse now. This Joe must be something more then just a friend to him. I mean, we've been boyfriend about a thirty minutes and he was the first person to know, and then he tells me that he knows Josh since he was a little kid. And is happy for us. This is something hard to see.
"Thanks Joe. And I'm more then happy with Josh, he's now my life." I said happy looking to Josh.
"Good to know son." Joe said smiling. "Well let's come inside. Soon the wind will get pretty bad." He said asking us to enter the restaurant. Was really cozy inside, had 6 tables and lots of pictures of old people in the wall. Was really beatiful. Had a brazillian song playing. If I was right the song was Águas de Março.
The light there was really cozy too. You could chill out there.
Josh and I sit in the table with the view to the sea. He put his hand in mine. And with his crooked smile said : "I love you my love."

©Leonardo Martins